Don't Shake the Kombucha

They all taste kinda like carbonated vinegar with little things floating around the bottom even though there are a variety flavors. Mindlessly drinking this concoction may cause you to accidentally shake the bottle, stirring up the little cliques of active cultures. When this happens to you, and it will, do not unscrew the cap for the love of dog!!! If you shake this potent elixir and release it from it's glass capsule, you will be doused with fizz and globs of tiny organisms that stain your new dress and the upholstery in your car. The real kicker is when you struggle to re-seal the detox demons inside their sticky tomb, you realize this is not the first time you've made this stupid mistake with a bottle of Kombucha. You will remember the moment you thought to yourself, "This is new. I think I'll try this," and you will wonder where else you could have spent three-fifty.