No doubt I'm bummed. Tonight we were supposed to be sippin' on gin and juice talking about how good it feels to be a gangsta. I was going to wear a plaid skirt, carry a dooney and burke purse, put my heart in motion and back that azz up. All I want to do is have some fun and get ready for the next episode, but our 90s party is postponed! And next week I'm leavin' town!!!
I was really going the distance when I decided to make the ultimate 90s mix with popular songs from when we were merely freshmen. I told Craig about my idea and he said, "Don't speak. I know just what you're thinking," and we started picking out some of the dopest songs. I told him, "we need some Nsync and Backstreet Boys," and he said, "Are you insane in the membrane? How's it gonna be when you play that crap?" I replied, "there's no need to argue. All that shimmers in this world is sure to fade." I thought to myself, he's pretty fly for a white guy, but what's his age again?
We burned 4 cds of 90s songs, just the two of us. "Thank you, you're a rockstar, baller and shot caller," I told him. "Remember that lovin' is what I got," he replied and added, "words can't say and I can't do enough to prove that it's all for you." What a dreamlover! Someday we're going to move into the country and eat a lot of peaches.
I might not get to see you all before I leave. It's killing me softly. I only want to be with you, but I must go practice santeria and chase waterfalls. I miss you already and maybe when I get back we can all jump around, zoot suit riot and get jiggy with it 'round here. But it's closing time and there's still so much to say so much to say so much to say so much to say. I wish you all lots of TLC and champagne supernovas because I've got a hand for you. Remember groove is in the heart so let your light shine down, spread your love and fly. Though I'm far away I'll whisper your name into the sky and I will wake up happy. Bye Bye Bye!
"He who is not everyday conquering some fear has not learned the secret of life.” ~ Emerson
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Monday, August 11, 2008
pros and cons: driving a crossfire convertible
Cons
1) Long hair whips around and gets in your eyes and mouth;
2) Hair gets tangled;
3 Sunburn is a possibility;
4) Road noise makes it difficult to talk on your cell phone;
5) Not so good gas mileage; and
6) Only two seats and no trunk space.
Pros
1) Fast;
2) Sexy; and
3) Fun.
Seeing that the pros outweigh the cons, I've decided what my next car will be...
1) Long hair whips around and gets in your eyes and mouth;
2) Hair gets tangled;
3 Sunburn is a possibility;
4) Road noise makes it difficult to talk on your cell phone;
5) Not so good gas mileage; and
6) Only two seats and no trunk space.
Pros
1) Fast;
2) Sexy; and
3) Fun.
Seeing that the pros outweigh the cons, I've decided what my next car will be...
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Don't Shake the Kombucha
They all taste kinda like carbonated vinegar with little things floating around the bottom even though there are a variety flavors. Mindlessly drinking this concoction may cause you to accidentally shake the bottle, stirring up the little cliques of active cultures. When this happens to you, and it will, do not unscrew the cap for the love of dog!!! If you shake this potent elixir and release it from it's glass capsule, you will be doused with fizz and globs of tiny organisms that stain your new dress and the upholstery in your car. The real kicker is when you struggle to re-seal the detox demons inside their sticky tomb, you realize this is not the first time you've made this stupid mistake with a bottle of Kombucha. You will remember the moment you thought to yourself, "This is new. I think I'll try this," and you will wonder where else you could have spent three-fifty.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Symptoms of Inner Peace
Be on the lookout for symptoms of inner peace. The hearts of a great many have already been exposed to inner peace and it is possible that people everywhere could come down with it in epidemic proportions. This could pose a serious threat to what has, up to now, been a fairly stable condition of conflict in the world.
Some signs and symptoms of inner peace:
A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than on fear based experience.
Am unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment.
A loss of interest in judging other people.
A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others.
A loss of interest in conflict.
A loss of the ability to worry. (This is a very serious symptom.)
Frequent, overwhelming episodes of appreciation.
Contented feelings of connectedness with others and nature.
Frequent attacks of smiling.
An increasing tendency to let things hapen rather than make them happen.
An increased susceptibility to the love extended by others as well as the uncontrollable urge to love them back.
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